Category Archives for Question the Answers

Where do I want to be a year from now? 5 years? 20 years?

This question is a bit like something a high school guidance counselor or a life coach might ask. Where do you see yourself 5 years, 10 years, 30 years from now? I wish I’d listened to her all those years ago… Of course, it’s never too late to ask. Today I can decide what steps to take which will be part of the outcome a year, 5 years or 20+ years from now.

How do I determine what steps to take today? I have found thinking of something negative helps prompt me. For instance:

  • I don’t want to be stuck in a recliner chair the last years of my life, so TODAY I will walk for 30 minutes (or do BURST exercises throughout the day), make healthy food choices, get good sleep, etc…
  • If I don’t want to be “poor”, then I’ll take steps to find an income suitable to support myself in relative comfort.
  • If I don’t want to be bored or lonely, I will make sure to sign up for that dance class or help out at the local food bank.

So, what am I doing – today – to exercise my body to keep from getting stiff and sore?

What am I doing today to support my future income?

Who do I call to get involved in distributing food? Is there a dance class in my area?

See? Just ask yourself what you don’t want, then reframe it as a something you can do to NOT end up that way.

How about you?

What would you say to your younger or older self if you could talk with him/her?

What would you say to your younger self if you could talk with him/her?

One of my favorite movies, Disney’s The Kid, with Bruce Willis and Spencer Breslin. Of course, the idea of being able to converse with yourself is sort of insane, This movie makes it almost believable!

Bruce Willis plays Russ Duritz, an image expert who helps people make modifications to their physical appearance as well as coaching them how to behave to get the best results in their field. He is quite successful helping others fix their lives but his bravado hides his own life failures. Early in the movie, Russ gets visited by a kid who turns out to be his younger self.

Anyway, when young and old Russ/Rusty get to know one another, at first elder version is annoyed with the younger version, even disgusted. As young Rusty (Spencer Breslin) shows up over and over again, Russ (Bruce Willis) begins to have “deja vu” moments that upset him. In time, he finds out what point in his life he stops remembering why he became hard and cynical. He guides his younger self through some trying times but in the end, he heals emotional pain and mental blocks by facing the pain.

My favorite scene is when older Russ is talking to a friendly newscaster, Deidre (Jean Smart). He is telling her he’s seeing his younger self and interacting with him she sort of smiles. When she tells him that his younger self was there to talk to/teach him, not the other way around, he falls silent with a dumbfounded look.

I love that. What could we learn from reliving a part of our childhood? What would you say to your younger self?

I for one, have learned to practice parenting myself, where in my mind, go back to younger versions of me and either comfort yourself or take the younger you on a walk to meet older, presumably more successful aspects of yourself. I love this. The best time for me to do this is when I travel back and visit 5-year-old Cheryl who had just been laughed at and humiliated by some bullies, and take her for a walk through my history, showing her all the times the older Cheryl had succeeded at one thing or other. Big things and small, like:

  • earning badges in Girl Scouts
  • getting all A’s in school (well, there were some B’s too)
  • learning piano and guitar
  • singing in choir and traveling with the choir
  • finishing high school and taking two years of college
  • learning to cook for a large group
  • marrying a fine, good man
  • having nine fabulous children
  • writing and publishing three books, which still earn royalties

I could go on and while you might think those are big accomplishments, it meant a lot too that young Cheryl. She grew up that day.

Anytime, I feel worthless, I travel back and look at my history. I feel proud.

What would you say to your younger/older self?

Is there a God?

The short answer: Yes.

Yes, I believe in a creator God, Father, Source, Great Spirit. I believe there is a power greater than all that made it all. Who made a big bang, if you will, to start what we know as the universe.

I also believe he made himself manifest to us in varied forms and through different means. I believe that the vastness of the universe and the opposite but even more vast inner conscience.

How did I find God?

My own story began not unlike most young adults on the brink of independence. On entering adulthood, I was scared. I had already been laughed at, failed miserably at a menial job, disappointed my parents, said goodbye to too many friends. I was unhappy. I really just wanted to hide under a rock.

Some kids go to drugs, sex or alcohol. I guess I was odd. I sought solace in religion. I found a church that gave me answers and gave me a group to be part of.

From that group, I ended up finding a man who made me feel safe and we got married. 35 plus years later I am still married to that man but both of us have changed so much. We have grown together and apart and back together again as we both grew in our separate understanding of God.

Actually, I can credit Hubs for throwing the religion under the bus. He basically got me to question the “sola scriptura” I had firmly chained myself to. By tossing the occasional comment that Paul was a self-appointed apostle. That Jesus was a good man and leader of a small Jewish sect that later came to be called Christian but not the son of God and Savior.

Jesus, not son of God

Can I tell you that the day God showed me that, I literally died. I cried and sobbed and didn’t think I could live. If Jesus wasn’t the Savior, how could I go to heaven and live for all eternity with him?? Essentially, I have come to know that God saved me and not in the sense of Christian salvation. But by setting me free to live and explore His vast inner and outer creation.

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